Appreciating Life

Tonight I am appreciating life a little more. I am a little more thankful. I am a little more mindful of the blessings in my life. Especially my children. My healthy children. Scarlett included.

Last week, a heartmom friend of mine named Abby had to say goodbye to her son, William aka "Will" succumbed to Congenital Heart Disease. He was one month older than Scarlett. He had numerous health challenges, among them a CHD and Down Syndrome. He struggled through battle after battle, and would come out succeeding time after time over the last two years. Will was a fighter. Will was a miracle.

Last Monday I received news that William had "earned his angel's wings", as we say in the CHD world. He had passed on. He was now an angel. His struggle was over. His fight on earth was done. He was no longer suffering, no longer on a ventilator, no longer connected to tubes and wires. No longer fighting for his life.

Does that mean he lost?

He fought for so hard, so long. and now he is pain free, wire free, tube free. He is free. He is an angel.

I cried when I heard that he had died. I didn't think it would affect me as much as it did, but I'm not ashamed to say that I cried for close to 6 hours that day. I couldn't stop myself. I was heartbroken.  I kept thinking about his mom, Abby. I kept thinking about Scarlett. I kept thinking about how fragile life is, and how precious every child is. To cherish those moments because you never know when it will be your last.

Today was William's funeral. It was very painful. There was a large turnout. A lot of heartmoms were there, and a lot of medical professionals from St. Joseph's Hospital were there. Beth was there. and I could count at least 10 other heartmoms, they even mentioned us during the service. I remember at Ethan's funeral, Heidi saying that she was introduced to this sub-culture of the heartworld (CHD community)

Many people don't know about us.   Heartmoms.  Heartdads.   Heartkids.

How I wish I wasn't part of this community, but I am so blessed to be a part of it, and to have met and know the peole I have met and known as part of being a CHD mom.

It is not for me to question why somethings happen. I will never know why God choses for some children to be born with life-threatening illnesses. But all I know is that parents aren't supposed to outlive their children. So, tonight I pray for Abby and the Olsen family who are suffering. They're missing their baby boy, their baby brother, their cousin, nephew, grandson.

Scarlett lost a heart friend, and we paid our respects today as he was laid to rest.  God Bless you, William Christian Olsen. May you live happy in paradise where your body is made whole again. Until we meet again.